Yah I want to be like that!

December 10 – Wisdom What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? : I believe that would be my decision to start Regular Auxiliary Pioneering.  It has helped me find a calm center in a chaotic life.  It’s become a touchstone.  Whenever I have thoughts of worthlessness or despair I can say "no, I did good here!" this helps me find my equilibrium, providing an emotional step back up neutral.  

I feel a sense of accomplishment and peace I have been missing.  An underlying awareness that I am back on track.  Its also forcing me to face my scheduling “claustrophobia” work through it.  In keeping with embracing my erratically consistent nature if my schedule does not go as planned just like with diet and exercise I’m working on not wallowing in guilt and self hate doing my best to pick myself up, dust off and reroute and move forward… 

"As Water flows humbly to the lowest level. Nothing is weaker than water, Yet for overcoming what is hard & strong, Nothing surpasses it." 

 

As the year draws to a close

Finally I'm updating!  No I havent been

I have been working out been to a couple Zumba classes and a dance fusion class.  I also have been riding at least a couple times a week.  Last night I ran.  Not happy with how I felt or the time but at least I did it.  I have planned another 5K for January 29th.  I am really hoping to be strong enough to run the full 5K this time instead of wogging.

My eating has really not been great.  Portions are ok but I have been eating creamy high fat food and definitely not enough fruits and veggies.  I'm working on it!

I found this daily pondering the past year thing that I would like to do.  I’m behind so I did today and all the preceding days in one post.  Oh and I skipped one because it wasn’t at all pertinent.

Without further ado here are the first 8 Pensive Ponderings: 

 

I did it!

I wogged the 5K on Saturday it was beautiful.  I sadly was not feeling very well.  I’m not sure why but I finished!  It was a gorgeous location and the weather was perfect a tad chilly but that might be a good thing helping keep my face to a lighter shade of purple.  My time was about the same as at the gym.  I am planning on doing another one end of January.  My goal is to be able to run the WHOLE thing!

I am planning on getting back to Zumba next week at least once a week.  Running at least once a week and riding three times a week.  Ideally I will Zumba twice, Run twice, Ride three times and possibly the occasional spinning class.  I like the variety.  

 I need to kick myself out of this funk.  I have been so beat.  Hopefully the four day weekend will restore my stamina.  The cold weather makes it tougher for me to get moving and it also makes me crave sweet and fatty food even more than usual.  Anyhow at least I DID my first 5K!

Arrrgh the pain!

Ok it’s not quite that bad but my bum is sore to be more specific the side muscles of my bum (see diagram).  I have learned what muscle it is I think... the Gluteus Medius .  I have always been a bit weak there that hip area cramps up and gets tight.  Apparently its big in helping you keep stabilized.  I will need to be very careful not to hurt myself because from what I’ve read a lot of runners injuries can stem from a weak Gluteus Medius.

I was able to pare 2 minutes off  how long it takes me to run 5K I’m at 43 minutes now.  I really pushed my limits though so I am not sure I will be able to do the 35 in time.  I will just do my best!

I haven’t been eating very well this week.  I didn’t plan out meals so have been going the easy (aka unhealthy route) for dinner.  Gotta get back on top of that sigh. 

I wanted to go riding this morning before work but was just too sore.  I might try again tomorrow morning.  I really want to ride at least three times a week!!

CLUTTER BLINDNESS: Affliction where eyes exposed to long-term clutter lose all will to focus and commit visual hara kiri.

This weekend  my Mum is coming over and we are going to be working on rearranging and decluttering pretty much everything in our home.  I saw a commercial for a show called "Hoarders"  It freaked me out good.We have a small place with lots of animals and roommates yet i want to be able to be "clean" we have been here for almost 3 years and have collected a lot of new stuff.  So we shall be going on a cleaning and simplifying binge.  That will probably hurt more than my bum does currently...

Now I know what I want!

I finally began my training.  My cold has hung on a little but I worked past it.  I have determined that It takes me 45 minutes to "Wog" 5K  I would like to cut that down to 35 minutes that is my goal.  I would like to point out that I had already exercised when I determined that time so rested I might be able to go a little faster.  So now if I can push on without hurting myself I should be able to see some progress in the two weeks before my 5K. 
 
I haven't lost any more weight but I have still been getting a lot of riding in.  I have stepped up my rides I do a lot more trotting and we are working on cantering now.  I love riding.  I love being around horses.  I love how the smell how the move and the expressions they get on their beautiful faces (they are extremely expressive with their eyes and ears). 

I unfroze my gym membership.  I want to start back at Zumba a couple times a week but will wait until after the 5 K I need to build up my speed as a first priority.  I also need to figure out a good upper body workout.  Most stuff I do is great for the lower body.  Riding has really started trimming and shaping my legs and running does the same.  Sadly the area I really need work is my arms and back.  Maybe I can try a sculpting class or something?  We will have to see. 

Ready Set WAIT!

I feel like I’m stuck at the starting line right now.  Don’t get me wrong I’m still making some WL progress.  I’m down 2 more lbs.  The 230’s are within view.  I haven’t seen them for about 9 years!!... but my exercise plans have been put on hold by getting sick.  To make this even more frustrating I have committed to a 5K that is taking place in less than a month… I may be jumping the gun a bit but I figure why not nothing ventured nothing gained.  Sadly my congestion is still hanging around and just climbing a flight of stairs has me in a coughing fit for 5 minutes.  Add the downpour we’ve been having…Yah I haven’t started my very exciting training regime..YET… I am all READY SET…READY SET…Ready…See you tomorrow!

Re "to infinity" committing

I got sick…once again severely limiting my exercise abilities. As far as the mechanical oracle of doom (aka scale) I haven’t been near its 3 digit sneer for over a week. Do I throw in the towel and accept failure slouched with defeat slinking shame faced from the field of battle before the first blow has been struck. NO!  I shall rise from the ashes like the blazing phoenix glorious in my rebirth… note to self no more writing entries while under the influence of cold medicines

I am planning much to the glee of my under exercised Jack Russell on getting back to my Couch to 5 K Program. I would like to run straight for 5K I was close when I fell off the program last. I will probably need to back up maybe to week 4 or 5 I need to review the graph again. I am also hoping to get my gym membership up and running again next month. Plan Z go with Garfield's excuse:

Flat on my Face!

This week has not been kind.  I started with such aspirations and goals.  Then after lifting my foot for the first step fell flat on my face. (see the image to the left for illustration)  Sigh.  Oh well in the immortal words of Chumbawamba:

  

I get knocked down, but I get up again
You nay ever gonna keep me down
I get knocked down, but I get up again
You nay ever gonna keep me down
I get knocked down, but I get up again
You nay ever gonna keep me down
I get knocked down, but I get up again
You nay ever gonna keep me down"

I'm not going to go into details except the only true workout i have done is Monday.  Tonight I will be going riding but Tuesday I didn't ride like I planned.  Wednesday my whole schedule got thrown off ending in a binge of a chili cheese dog and chili cheese fries and this morning started with McDonald's so I'm afraid to go near the scale lol.  I am not giving up.  Things have to smooth out some soon I hope.  I also need to do some shopping.  I have been doing some reading on "Once a Month Cooking"  Basically you have a menu for the month and you have a schedule to cook all day and freeze the meals in the portions for one dinner.  ONE time a month.  That way every day you have a home cooked meal to eat you just have to pull it out of the freezer the night or morning before and then bake or reheat when you get home.  That actually sounds like something TOTALLY up my street.  Besides this image makes the OCD in me coo in pleasure  

Poke it with a stick!

Eeew its still alive.  First of all “I told you so”  *crickets chirp* FINE THEN.. “I told me so”.  I have the erratic part down perfect and I am consistently erratic.  Anywho I am still alive.  I have not gained a bunch of weight.  Neither however have I lost a bunch.  Good news is I lost 2.5 lbs without working at it over the course of 3 months.  That is very important for me because not only did I not regain weight I lost which has been the pattern I maintained all my adult life but I was able to still lose a little bit just doing daily activities. 

That being said I am ready for another push.  I really want to try to get into the 230’s this month.  Now if I believed in miracles I would set the goal to 230 but lets not get out of hand.  I am setting it to 235.  That is the recommended loss give or take of a little over 2lbs a week.  Can I do it?  Don’t know will do my best.

I restarted my exercise routine.  I have not been sedentary these past few months.  I decided to continue auxillarying until I drop dead from exhaustion and so far I’m surviving.  I get some activity from service.  I have also been riding a couple times a week which is a good workout.  Whenever I can I take my Milla foo (small Jack Russell Terrier) for a walk.   I’m kicking it up a notch.   Now that I feel I have settled into my service schedule I am ready to throw the exercise ball back into the juggling mix.. lets see how it goes.  Oh and I’m cutting back.  Trying to eat smaller portions again and healthier choices.  I am not doing any strict dietary restriction yet.   I want to wait a week and see how I do with the increased activity and smaller portions.

Oh I also had a MAGNIFICENT family vacation to Yellowstone last month.  Huzby, his parental, my mum and a family friend went.  I will be updating the photo section of this blog with some of my favorite pictures from our trip!

It all started with a cookie…

Well maybe not all… last week my exercise was a bit spotty. I did Callanetics and Zumba Monday and then I did Zumba again on Tuesday. Wednesday I went horse riding though I took it super easy. Thursday and Friday were exercise fails… Then on Thursday my coworker set a double fudge cookie on my desk..I couldn’t say no now could I? So anyhow I “fell” off my low carb plan since Thursday. I planned on getting back on today after helping my sis move this weekend but I just was to wiped to really get behind the planning.

Here is the thing though. I’m not looking at this as a FAIL…I see several pluses to my situation.

1. I have not gained any weight back. While I did not lose any last week I held steady.
2. Even though I wasn’t strict to plan I didn’t binge either as I have had a tendency to do in the past.
3. I am ready to get going again..
4. I’m not consumed with guilt and self loathing as I would have been in the past. More of just a shrug and ready to mount up and get moving again.

The keystone of this plan of mine is to get to bed at a decent time tonight. I have been running at 110% all month no real downtime. I have got to get an extended portion of good quality sleep tonight. Which means when I get off work at 5 I have to change and run to the stables to ride for an hour and half. I HAVE to be home at seven to eat, make breakfast and lunches for tomorrow. Then I must clean the pet boxes all in an hour so I can be in bed by 8 or 8:30 at the latest. It’s going to be a bit tight but I think I can make it. Tomorrow I need to make up my run and do Callanetics. I won’t be doing Zumba tomorrow because they are having some charity event that I would have to pay to attend.

"Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did."

I may have to revise my 230 goal by July as we only have 7 weeks to go and I still need to lose 18 lbs. We shall see though. Sometimes you can have a big loss in one week so I’m not going to be disappointed if I can’t make it but I am still going to push for it.

Just a small vent I promise

Ok I am going to complain.. just a bit I promise. My vent is simple math… According to fitday I burn 3000 calories a day being alive.. I know that is not true. I WISH my metabolism was that fast but its not so lets say that I burn 2000 a day that seems pretty average for me and when I eat that much in a day I don’t gain which means there is no calorie surplus.. So base 2000 a day… I am currently eating 1200-1500 calories a day. Which means I am eating between 800-500 calories a day UNDER what I am burning. In addition I am working out pretty much EVERY day. Burning and additional 500-1000 calories a day (working out for 75-120 mins a day) So if we average that out I am using close to 1400 calories more every day that I’m consuming Right?

If one pound of fat is approximately 3500 calories I should be going through about 1/3 lb a DAY.. in a week that is 2.3 lbs. Which is reasonable weekly weight loss RIGHT?? This week the scale has refused to budge even going up a few lbs.

Ok I KNOW it’s the TOM and I KNOW that I have a tendency to retain water. I am just expressing my exasperation with how illogical weight loss is. I am an old hand at it. I know there are plateaus and then times when you drop a bunch for no apparent reason. I just wish it would follow a nice staid formula.

Weight loss should be MATH so many people seem to think it is but sadly for many of us it doesn’t appear to follow any formula I have the skill to figure out.

So I shall stick with it I imagine in a few week (inside Im praying for days or hours even) I will be able to report a new weight loss victory until this I send this with all my heart to my scale and metabolism.

Edging Forward

This weekend was tough. Working and grazing all day does not lend itself to a low carb lifestyle.

I was however very active since I was painting for hours at a time and according to my fitday that counts as exercise .

I have been dragging a bit this week. I think it has more to do with the TOM than the busy weekend since lately all my weekends have been busy.

I could not FORCE myself to run yesterday morning  I was and still am feeling quite bedraggled      
See illustration to the right ----->
but I did do callinetics and then I did Zumba at the gym in the evening so I think I more than made up for it. Sadly I won’t be able to ride this week as the stables are at a show and I will be gone next weekend so I am going to be a couple rides behind. I am missing my riding and seriously hope I’m not going to back track when I finally get back on a horse.

Once again I am admittedly dragging my feet to graduate to the next level of Cto5K. I’m going to repeat week 5 this week. Particularly the 2 8 minute runs. That was pretty tough for me next Friday I am pretty sure I’m not ready to graduate to running 20 minutes straight. I might try it next Monday but we shall have to see.
I have also been trying to figure out how to change the appearance on my blog. I will need to teach myself some basic HTML and such. My beloved husband did the little banner I added and I put the text with it. Isn’t it CUTE!

On a side note I may have to fire whomever made coffee this morning its so weak and nasty. I definitely need something stronger to kick my butt into gear today!

VICTORY!

THE SCALE said I’m down 2 lbs!! I have not see the 240’s for 8 or 9 years… *does a little dance* This also means I am on track for my goal of 2 lbs a week to get down to 230 by July. Hope I can do it!

I am off to Zumba again tonight. I’m expecting it to be pretty tough as I am exquisitely sore today. The backs of my calves and strangely enough my back rib area are making themselves heard loud and clear in four letter expletives well they would if they could actually talk.  I am thrilled about both areas as back fat is one of my most hated attributes and I want it along its merry journey wherever fat goes when it dies and my calves are larger than average so I can’t wear any of those cute knee high boots.  You know the ones that look adorable with skirts *sob* poor me.

However!!  I have it on good authority I don’t have cankles. A terrible word I discovered when looking for ways to trim down my calves after a pair of half chaps I bought did not fit. In horror I polled people close to me and they reassured me that I do not have cankles *phew* one less thing to worry about right lol. I am sure the world would keep spinning if I did indeed suffer from this condition but .. well you know

Ohhh my aching…everything

o I FINALLY tried Zumba last night.  It was awesome and oh so hard.  Good news is I will be able to strive to reach the teachers energy level for all of eternity.  Meaning I will never get complacent or bored lol.  I woke up and did my Callanetics and Run this morning… I was feeling it.  I didn’t realize the CtoK program had me running 8 minutes at a time.  The first stretch of running seemed to never end and then on the second I decided my podcast must be broken and about 6.5 minutes into it I had to drop to a walk.  Considering I had worked out so hard 10 hrs before I’m counting it as a WIN!  First time in my life I have run for an 8 minute stretch!  I think on Friday I should be able to manage both 8 minutes.  I amnot so sure if I’m ready to move to the next week though.  Have to see how it goes. 

 I am pretty certain I’ve lost a pound.  Why the lingering uncertainty you ask?  Because my scale fluctuated up and down this morning so I will check it tomorrow and see what it says. 

I have been working really hard to harness the energy of my up phase in preparation for my down phase (erratically consistent after all) So far so good.  Most goals I have for this month are right on track or even a little ahead of schedule. 

Pretty broke right now we have to get some work done on our home that’s gonna hurt and I desperately need new tires.  Ouch..

I am considering trying a spinning class.  They have them on Tues and Thurs at 5:30am which fits perfectly into my schedule.  I’m just not sure if I can handle that in the am and Zumba in the PM so I will keep eying it for awhile until I feel my fitness level is high enough to try something like that.  The nice thing about belonging to the gym are the class options.  There is a Chisel class right before my Zumba class I can show up a few minutes late and do it before but that also will be awhile need to get stronger first.

Goals goal goals...

Darn I have thought about posting every day this week but work has been pretty busy. I spent part of the week trying to shore up my reserves because May is going to be another VERY busy month. I put together a calendar using little “flair” which are basically tiny avatars assigned to different activates. The cute pictures succeeded in making my schedule look slightly less intimidating.



On the weight loss front…my scale remains stubbornly at 252 lbs sigh. I did run this week. I graduated to week 4 of the Cto5K and was very proud Euphoric even of how I did. I am going to do another run this evening when I check out our local gym. They are going to try to sign me up for something but unless they offer an AWESOME deal I will be only using the free coupon. I will however use the treadmill and see if I can get walked through some weights .

I am sticking to Low carb for the most part. Trying to keep my calories between 1200-1500. I am successful most days.

I am setting a weight loss goal. By July 1st I would like to get down to 230. If I stick By Sticking to my low carb/cal way of eating and the exercise regime I have scheduled this should be eminently doable…right? At least it’s a goal and I tend to be the goal oriented sort!