Goals goal goals...

Darn I have thought about posting every day this week but work has been pretty busy. I spent part of the week trying to shore up my reserves because May is going to be another VERY busy month. I put together a calendar using little “flair” which are basically tiny avatars assigned to different activates. The cute pictures succeeded in making my schedule look slightly less intimidating.



On the weight loss front…my scale remains stubbornly at 252 lbs sigh. I did run this week. I graduated to week 4 of the Cto5K and was very proud Euphoric even of how I did. I am going to do another run this evening when I check out our local gym. They are going to try to sign me up for something but unless they offer an AWESOME deal I will be only using the free coupon. I will however use the treadmill and see if I can get walked through some weights .

I am sticking to Low carb for the most part. Trying to keep my calories between 1200-1500. I am successful most days.

I am setting a weight loss goal. By July 1st I would like to get down to 230. If I stick By Sticking to my low carb/cal way of eating and the exercise regime I have scheduled this should be eminently doable…right? At least it’s a goal and I tend to be the goal oriented sort!

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.

Actually that's not usually true. Generally I find myself somewhat energized on a Monday it feels like a beginning a time to start getting some things right.

I am tightening things up on the diet front. Cutting way back on carbs and trying to keep to a certain caloric goal. I am also trying to get back on my exercise routine. You know Newton's First Law AKA the Law of Inertia where it states that "an object at rest tends to stay at rest and that an object in motion tends to stay in motion unless acted upon by an external force." Currently I am an object at rest. I have been trying to heave myself back into motion but so far it has been futile. Good news is I have remained pretty active on the weekends with walking, horse riding and hiking. Still I have goals I really want to finish the Cto5K this time! Also I want to sign up for a 5 K by the end of summer.

I had a good hike on Sunday, combine that with the ride on Saturday my legs are stiff today. I am still going to push through the fourth week of the run. I may have to repeat but I need to push my boundaries. Oh and I am also wanting to do a Zumba class with some friends this Thursday. It sounds like a lot of fun and is cheap! All in all I have a lot of plans for this week and will do my best to stick with them.

My mini goal last week was to chew 30 times a bite. Lets call that a work in progress. My goal this week is to drink my Gallon of water every day. Things always seem to speed up when I stick with that. So here is to another week!

Mid week review

You’d think that the goal I set for this week would be easy. Chew each bite 30 times.. whats so hard about that right. WRONG... I have discovered how little attention I pay when I’m eating. Most of the time I am doing something else. I work through lunch or read through dinner so I am just stuffing in my food and after the meal I think did I CHEW? I can’t remember. So here we are Wednesday and I need to recommit to this goal.

I am trying really hard to find a way to balance my Auxillary commitment with exercise. I am not doing letter writing in the morning any more but I am not doing so well on the actually getting moving when I get up. The rain and cold weather isn’t helping either. I am not giving up just trying to figure out how I can work with this. Build up my energy levels to get out there because once I get going I FEEL better I know this yet the first few steps are still difficult.

On top of this I really want to try a 5k in the late summer or fall. Means I need to really get back on my Cto5k program! I am mentally building my excitement back up.

Busy weekend fighting guilt

I was VERY active this weekend and yet because I did not do a structured DVD or run I keep feeling guilty.  The way this works is I will be sitting at my desk and I will think.."Self your such a bad self because you didn't work out this weekend." This thought flits across my consciousness  leaving a feeling of guilt in its wake.  The thing is I rode for an hour and half and I went on a 45 minute walk.  Both of those are exercise.  It’s my mind playing tricks on me.  Feeling guilty is a habit.  One that I am GOING to break.

 I did really well this weekend.  I got everything done I wanted.  I did not stick low carb but I didn't PIG out either.  As far as this morning I managed to get up at 4:30 but  am sorry to say I didn't get my callanetics or run in.  I did  however do some gardening and completed a prodigious amount of cleaning that was left over from my whirlwind weekend.  I will riding this evening so I will get a workout in today.

 The goal I am working on this week is to chew each bite 30 times.  I read a really interesting article about how chewing your food a lot helps release the foods  nutrition that might otherwise be missed as its ushered along our digestive tract.  These people took it a bit far...chewing 100 times O.o... not sure how that is possible I struggle with 30 the automatic swallow response is powerful.  Of course chewing more means you are eating slower, get full faster and hopefully eat less.  It’s a win win!

 I will be posting my weekly goals on a static page that you can access on the Goals button of the menu bar.  I will keep update progress on my ongoing goals and remove completed ones after awhile. 

You may notice I have added a Picture button.  I saw another blogger have a picture a day goal.  It could be of anything, whatever caught her eye.  I thought it a great idea.  Secondly it will keep me open and observant of my surroundings with eyes open to beauty.  Additionally I will break in my new red digital camera Huzby bought me for our anniversary.  So I'm pretty excited about it!

And then there was blogging

Hello..is there anybody out there? out there? out there?...  Gotta love the echo of an empty virtual room.  When I was trying to decide:

A.  If I wanted another blog.

B. What I would call it. 

  One thing kept coming to mind.  I won't follow through.  I have frequently said that consistency is my nemesis.  As Superman had Lex Luthor and Rainbow Brite fought Murky Dismal I am locked in an epic struggle with my inability to consistently follow any plan.  

   "But Emily" (thats my name) you ask (you being the currently imaginary reader) that sounds so self defeating and final.  "aww but" I reply sagely.  "I am not giving up"... 

  Imaginary conversations aside.  After extensive introspection and research, not to mention countless attempts at defeating my inconsistency and banishing erraticness (is that a word) from my vocabulary.. at 34 years old I declare a truce.  Not defeat but just maybe I can reach a compromise with my footloose and fancy free self.  

Firstly:  I am going to stop feeling guilty.  If I lose interest in something or my attention wanders I am going to not beat myself up about it.  90% of the things I feel guilty about are projects or hobbies I chose for fun, self improvement and enjoyment.  If my interest wanes why would I sabotage the enjoyment and growth I got out of it by feeling guilty that I'm no longer doing it?  Additional there is a direct correlation to how much I flagellate myself with guilt to how unlikely it is I will return to the given activity.

Secondly:  When I am dealing with diet and exercise I am going to give myself plenty of options.  Ok so I get bored with the callanetics video.. better to go for a walk or do the Jillian Michaels DVD than force myself do something I am mentally exhausted with and find it even harder to do next time.  This counts for food as well.  Sure Low carb works best for me.  With PCOS its the best way for me to lose weight.  Never the less if I find I can't stomach another piece of chicken or omlette.  Switching to a healthful standard way of eating for awhile allowing myself to catch my breath is not a failure.  Maintaining what I have already lost is not a failure.  What is failing is stopping the plan I have and eating a chocolate cake a day for two weeks because I went beyond my limits.  

I must learn to recognize the signs of depleting resolve and learn to wean myself off the strict plan to a sensible one until my power reserves replenish.

Thirdly:  I have got to STOP the all or nothing attitude.  To do this I MUST be able to find more flexibility in my routines and choices and even if I don't reach the ultimate goal I may have had at the begining of the week still feel pride for the adjusted one I needed to do.  I believe that my will power is like a muscle.  Currently its a sprinter.  I can do really really well for a short period of time.  I need to develop it and train it to be a marathon runner.

  In summary I am on a long path to finding a way to get the goals I have in life accomplished in a way that is feasible for my personality and one that wont make the path so full of pain, failure and guilt.  This is going to be a long journey.  34 years of bad habits don't go away over night.  I am going to be applying what I learn to every aspect of my life but here I am going to focus mainly on my health goals.